Rileys Surgery

Riley just had his lip and nose repair. They also did some temporary fixes to the palate which made for a COMPLETELY new mouth for this little guy. They put an artificial palate in thats pretty made out of a plastic that it tacked in, then they sowed the tissue together on his soft palate, which both are just temporary. In ways we obviously looked forward to this surgery but dreaded it at the same time. Its been a lot more stressful and emotional then I anticipated. Not only was I so sad to see the face I first fell in love with go, but watching your child go through something so intense is an experience that is challenging to explain.
To start off, the night before surgery he couldn't be fed passed 2am, and couldn't have any clear liquids passed 7. That in and of its self is torture. At 2 Mac and I tried to get him to tank as much formula as we could, and then try to keep him asleep for the ride up to Salt Lake. Riley actually did ok. He actually slept most of the morning up to our appointment at 9. So it could have been a lot worse. Once we got there,  our surgeon came in to talk to us and to take a look at Riley. Then the anesthesiologist. That was pretty terrifying.  She asked a few questions about Riley's history,  and took us down the long hall to the dreaded silver doors. She told us to give him kisses and say goodbye but that he was in good hands. You can imagine the emotional stress that puts on a parent, especially those who have had to put your kids out for something. Handing Riley to the anesthesiologist was probably one of the hardest parts. I had pretty well together until that part, I completely lost it.  We were taken to a waiting area for all parents who had their kids in surgeries. There was a desk with two nurses who would answer phones when surgeons would want to give updates to the parents. They would just call your childs name out and you would walk up to the desk for an update. Once we got an update half way through the surgery I was able to calm down a little bit.  The surgery its self was about 3 hours,  but then it took him an hour and a half to wake up enough for us to see him.  Dr. Schmelzer who was our surgeon came in and told us that he was done and that he was very pleased with how Riley looked, and that it would be a bit before he came out of the anesthesia.  We are so glad we he was able to do the surgery for us, because as you can see Riley looks amazing. Finally Riley was ready for us. When we made it back to him, he had the saddest wimpier and immediately heard my voice, and the nurse handed him to me. So many people tried to prepare me for what this moment would be like, seeing him for the first time. However,  there is just no way to be.  He looked like a completely different baby. A different nose, and a complete upper lip totally changed his whole face. We fell in love all over again, and it wasn't hard.
We were taken up to his room where he would recover in for the next couple days. He cried for the rest of the day, but we just kept holding him trying to comfort him the best we could. He was on morphine and lortab, and the other sedation meds, so he was just so groggy and emotional. He had a tongue stitch in which they would take out the next day, and told us that he most likely wouldn't eat the whole first day which he didn't. That was really hard to see him in so much pain and discomfort and be feeling and hearing his tummy growling but couldn't do anything really about it.  About an hour after being up in his room, we realized that his IV had come out which was super frustrating. They called the IV Team in to get a new one placed but this time he obviously wouldn't be out before they placed it, so they told us to leave because we wouldn't want to watch. They would just have to hold him down to do it. The nurses also had to skip a round of pain meds because they didn't know if he had gotten it or not in the IV so they had to act as if he did, and wait to give him more. That was absolutely crushing. Mac stayed with him the first night, so I could go home to be with Bostyn, then I went up and switched him the next morning. He did a little better the next day with me, but still wasn't eating, I also learned that after I left in the middle of the night his IV came out a second time. We had a terrible experience up at Primarys and things just kept getting worse and worse, but the details about that really don't matter as much. We were just eager to get Riley home because I new that his recovery would go much better at there. He was done being poked and attached to cords and being bugged all through the night as so were we.
It took him a few days at home to start eating good again. He was only eating about 20ml out of a syringe a day of formula, and thats been one of the hardest things to overcome since we've been home. That and sleep.  He doesn't sleep at all unless he is being held. Mac and I haven't slept in the same room for about 12 weeks now. We just take turns and split the night so one person can get good sleep in our room, and then we switch. He's pretty much off all his pain meds and antibiotics which is awesome! Were giving him tylenol every now and then when he's hurting but other then that, he's taking nothing which makes him so much happier when he's off the narcotics.

One surgery down!! Mac and I feel like if we can get through that, we can get through the rest. I look back  early on when we found out about Ry,  I was so worried about how this would all turn out, but I'm so grateful for it. I wouldn't change anything about Riley, or ask Heavenly Father for anything different. I don't really think I could say "This whole thing has made me stronger as a person" or, "This has made me a better mom" I just think its very much changed the way I look at what really matters, and I've just learned that we have it pretty easy. I think that was something that I needed to learn. Although this has been the hardest thing I've ever had to experience, its just something that has made me very aware of Heavenly Fathers direct hand, and presence in our everyday life. We have an amazing team helping us, and were so happy that everything went as well as it did.